Unspoken Conversation

She looks at me with questioning eyes. I can tell that she has cried herself to sleep for many nights. Her eyes seem to reflect pain. She has been fighting a battle inside her for so long. She is tired and has no resting place. All she wants is comforting arms and comforting words. And although no one can ever understand her more than I do, I still can’t help her. I know she has finally pulled herself together to look into my eyes. It does take a lot of courage to face someone who knows you completely, your weakness, your emotions, your deepest secrets.

I am hoping she says something and breaks this deafening silence. And finally she speaks. “Why me?”, ‘Why am I to bear this pain and heartache, while the one who has caused me this pain seems so untouched by the agony?” Oh a myriad of emotions reflect on that once smiling and ever cheerful face. There is sadness, hurt, anger and the question “Why me?” I feel so helpless, so wasted. Why can’t I reach out and just hold her hand and tell her that this pain won’t last, the heartache will heal and she will find love again. Because deep in my heart I know just as she does that the scars will stay. Her life has been irreversibly changed.

I remember not long ago how blissful she was when she felt love blossom in her heart. She stayed away from it deliberately knowing that she couldn’t love anyone as much as she did years ago. But now it was different. She had hands of that someone special she knew would hold on for what she called “Forever”. Little did she know that the winds of change and the fragile will of her loved one would bring her world shattering down. The once smiling face was now painted with darker hues.

I try to stare into her eyes hoping she will hear my unsaid words. I tell her that she is lucky to find love again. To know love and feel it in all its purity is a blessing. Unlucky is the one who couldn’t hold on. My eyes tell her to make this love her strength. To know that she is capable of loving fully, strong to face the coldness of a person and yet know that she is stronger to face the world even if it be alone. Her love being true can bring back her lost love if destiny wills. If not, the knowledge that she is strong enough to love so passionately sets her apart especially when love nowadays is misunderstood with affection, infatuation, lust or just a fling.

I think she reads me. I see her wipe her tears. I see a will, a will to survive. I see a determination to be strong again. Maybe our wordless conversation finally has made sense. I am glad that I did not lie to her, I just couldn’t. And as she walks away, she turns back, looks me in the eyes, smiles and says “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the toughest one of all?”. I can’t help but smile back and in silence say “You my Darling, You”.